Monday, March 01, 2010

In My Dreams: Ghosts of Lover's Past

Sometime early this morning I had this dream that just went on forever but it kept changing...from one old love to another.

Yes, the ghosts of lovers past have come back to haunt me and haunt me they are because so far the dream has not left me.

It's very strange because the men in my dream were all guys that played a major role in my history, not the no ones not even just the jerks I knew but no, these guys were the ones I really cared for.

It all started with the dream being about the one that got away AKA the one I let go because I knew it would never really work in the real world (long story). Later the dream morphed to a couple other guys that I had real feelings for but we never had a "real" relationship, then it ended with the one guy that majorly screwed up my life and was such a jerk- the sperm donor for my oldest child.

While the dreams of everyone else were all soft and fuzzy, the dream of him was as it always is- him tearing me apart emotionally and lots of fighting and him being a cheating bastard. Same old same old.

I woke up with that anger but all those soft and fuzzies are still there too.

Weird.

I am a major believer in dreams meaning something. I know many dreams are just random gobbledygook meshed in the brain and spit out as strange images in our dreams- but sometimes a dream is more than a dream- I just don't know what this one means.

My hubby might say, "Oh you're dreaming about other guys, must mean you don't want me anymore" or some weird shit like that (he's not usually insecure but lately...a mid-life crisis may be coming on)

When in fact because he wasn't in my dream I think perhaps it means I need to let go or say goodbye and learn to focus on the now. Or maybe learn from my past and mistakes. Maybe appreciate what I have and not worry about anything else.

Hmmm....

I will probably spend the day dissecting it and trying to remember the ghostly images of my dreams- maybe I'll put the images to good use and create beautiful stories form them.

Maybe I'll find something else to occupy my mind and forget about it.

Maybe I shouldn't obsess about weird and meaningless stuff. :-)

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