The Night Before XXXMas

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
I was frantically clicking away with my mouse

My stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that some dildos would soon be there

I wanted to be nestled all snug in my bed
But visions of hot studs danced in my head

I was in my nightie and a cute little thong
I had finally settled down to play with my dong

When under my window arose such a clatter
I jumped out of bed mad as a hatter

Over to the window my neighbors got a flash
My breasts fell out when I threw open the sash

The moon shown on my breasts like new fallen snow
Giving my skin a luster to any viewers below

When what to my unbelieving eyes should appear
but a big ass sleigh and eight horny reindeer

With a hot sexy driver so studly and thick
I knew in a moment it must be Saint Prick

Faster than vibrating dildos they came
He hooted and hollered and called them by name

Come on Dasher and Dancer, Prancer and Vixen,
Go Comet and Cupid, Faster Donder and Blitzen

Get over that fence, make it up that wall
I want to mount that bitch, I'll mount them all

I was quiet as could be watching him fly
They passed all obstacles on the way to the sky

Up to my rooftop the reindeer they flew
With a sleigh full of sex toys and Saint Prickolas too

And in a twinkling I heard them on the roof
The dancing and prancing of each heavy hoof
As I tucked away my breasts and covered my ass
Down the chimney came Saint Prickolas with a crash

He was dressed in velvet from his head to his foot
His clothes were all covered in ashes and soot

A bundle of sex toys he flung to the floor
He stripped off his clothes and hung them on my door

His muscles how they rippled, ass dimples how merry
His cheeks were all rosy, his cock red as a cherry

His sensuous mouth was curved like a bow
The hair on his head as white as the snow

The base of his cock he held tight in his hand
A condom encircled the head like a wreath

He had a thick shaft and a big fat tip and his balls
shook when he laughed, I wanted to give them a lick

His penis was chubby and plump, a well endowed young elf
I got horny when I saw him in spite of myself

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head
He had me flat on my back upon my big bed

He spoke not a word but dove into his work
He filled my pussy with a twitch and a jerk

With just a few thrusts and fast pumps I came
Yelling and screaming and calling his name

As soon as he came he pulled right away, put a toy in my sock
then he climbed out the window naked holding his fat cock

I heard him exclaim as he climbed in his sleigh
"Merry Christmas, sexy! That was a great fucking lay!"

Originally published December 2007 at http://www.oystersandchocolate.com/Poetry/1292/TheNightBeforeXXXMas.aspx

Free Book Friday Giveaway: Tasty Christmas Treats by Roxanne Rhoads

This week I'm offering a print copy my hot Christmas erotica story- Tasty Christmas Treats.

Blurb:

Kelly has had a long day working in her upscale adult boutique. She's ready to kick off her heels and spend some quality time with her husband, Marc, which just might include activities involving candy canes, ribbons and bows that would make even Kelly blush!

But just as things are spicing up, an emergency phone call from one of Kelly's employees interrupts the festive fun.

Kelly's troublemaking, oversexed cousin, Chrissy, is up to no good, and wreaking havoc in Kelly's upscale sex shop. Can Kelly convince Chrissy that her store is not a brothel before the cops shut it down?

Will Kelly and Marc ever get to finish their passionate Christmas rendezvous?

Tasty Christmas Treats is available in print and as an ebook.

Want to win a signed print copy?

Leave a comment on this post

Include your email

+2 entries for being a Roxanne's Realm GFC Follower

Open to US Shipping Only

Winner TBA Wed Dec 15

In the Mood for Holiday Erotica?

Available in paperback and in ebook forms

Kelly has had a long day working in her upscale adult boutique. She's ready to kick off her heels and spend some quality time with her husband, Marc, which just might include activities involving candy canes, ribbons and bows that would make even Kelly blush! But just as things are spicing up, an emergency phone call from one of Kelly's employees interrupts the festive fun. Kelly's troublemaking, oversexed cousin, Chrissy, is up to no good, and wreaking havoc in Kelly's upscale sex shop. Can Kelly convince Chrissy that her store is not a brothel before the cops shut it down? Will Kelly and Marc ever get to finish their passionate Christmas rendezvous?



Fangs for the Holidays written under my pen name Adrienne Rose:

After spending the day baking holiday goodies Avery drops by her vampire boyfriend Jackson's home so they can spend some quality time together. He is surprisingly enticed by the smell of baked goods on Avery's skin which leads them to a discussion about family holiday gatherings...and a lot of very hot sex.



This is the print book that contains my story "Candy Cane Thrills" it is filled with holiday stories from Xcite- they are also available in ebook form (see below)









Candy Cane Thrills By Roxanne Rhoads -

Adrienne has a little Christmas seduction in mind when she dresses up in red velvet for her boyfriend Marcus. But it turns out that she's not the only one with sexy shenanigans in mind. Marcus has been thinking alone the same lines, and he has a sweet Christmas treat in store for her ... quite literally!

Witching You A Merry Christmas

I just learned today that my erotic paranormal romance story, Witching You A Merry Christmas, will be a free read for the Circlet Press Erotic Advent Calendar.

Every day this month at Circlet.com you can read either a brand new story or a story from one of their books- for free.

Most have Christmas or holiday themes or settings.

Mine is obviously a Christmas theme, hence the title. And it features...a vampire and a witch. I know reoccurring roles in my stories. Seems to be my favorite match up- a sexy male vampire and a spirited female witch.

Here's a little blurb for Witching You a Merry Christmas:

Vicki has been leery of vampires ever since she was attacked five years ago.



Vicki's preternatural crime fighting partner, Daniel, is a vampire. It's been an awkward partnership especially since he's secretly in love in with her.



Daniel loves Christmas and hopes that the spirit of the holidays will be just what Vicki needs to soften her hatred of vampires and see him in a new light.



Daniel's greatest Christmas wish involves getting a certain witch to finally see past his fangs.



Will Santa give him what he wants most?



Right now this story is scheduled to be published on December 26 at Circlet.com

Once it goes live I'll post a link.

Winner Wednesday

The winner of Sex on the Slopes is

lastnerve

Congrats

New Release: No Place I'd Rather Be

My first Noble Romance release is now available

No Place I'd Rather Be

by Roxanne Rhoads

Genre: Paranormal erotica
Length: Naughty Nibble

Sonora is torn between a human and a vampire. How can she choose between the man who makes her feel safe and the vampire that makes her blood race? Sonora prays to the Goddess for guidance while harboring secret desires that her broody vampire, Brom, and her brawny human, Avery, can get past their jealousy and be willing to do more than just share the witch in the middle.

Can the Goddess grant Sonora's wish, or will she be stuck making an impossible choice?

Special Content Alert: Menage
m/f/m, f/m, m/m

$1.50

Here's an excerpt:

No Place I'd Rather Be
By Roxanne Rhoads


Could I choose between them? Choose between the man who made me feel safe and the vampire that made my blood race?

Neither was perfect, but both were oh so sexy. Avery was a little rough around the edges and did a great job of hiding his emotions, while my vampire Brom's violent past left him broody and unpredictable.

My best friend, Sandra, had advised me to keep them both and enjoy the best of both worlds—the safety of humanity I so craved with Avery and the danger that thrilled me so much with Brom.

I just didn't know if I was a witch who could play two men against each other. I'd always been a one-man type of girl. But when one isn't really a man, when he is so much more, the rules had a tendency to bend and blur.

In my world, I had to wonder sometimes if there were any rules at all. I tried so hard to live like a human, love like a human, but honestly, at some point, I had to accept I am not human. And neither is Brom. The only human in my equation was Avery, and if he had a problem with what we are, with what I am . . . . Well, let's just say he had to make the decision to either step into my world completely and accept me for the monster I am, or walk away and never look back.

A born witch, I never asked to be this way. I was raised to be with my own kind, then I fell for a vampire, then soon after that, I fell for a man . . . a human man who I had actually been trying really hard not to fall for. Both vamps and men were forbidden in my circle, but if my coven were to choose, the vampire would be the better choice.

Being with a human could pose way too many problems, especially a human like Avery who had a problem with the monsters.

I didn't want to choose between them. They were both so . . . so . . . so damn delicious.

So I found myself wedged between a cock and hard place. Not necessarily a bad place to be.

I wished I could keep them both, that they would willingly share me. Perhaps at the same time.

Oh, I know it's a little taboo, but I really had hopes the two men of my fantasies might think less about tearing each other apart and more about doing more intimate things to me . . . together . . . and just maybe to each other.

I know, witchful thinking, right? But damn, it would have made my life easier. And so much hotter. I wouldn't have to play them against each other; instead, I could play with them . . . together. I could even watch the two of them play—with each other. Goddess, wouldn't that be a sight?

I grew a little moist just thinking about their hard cocks wedged against each other . . . inside me. My body quivered.

I had never even come close to being with two men at the same time.

I knew Brom had some experience with other men; it seemed par for the course a vampire who lived for centuries would experiment sexually. I mean, come on, when you can live for eternity, the hang-ups humans have about sex become a bit petty and tedious. Plus, after awhile, I am sure the same ol' same ol' might grow tiresome, and the desire to try new experiences would become intense.

Avery was a different story; being human made him a tad bit homophobic. Confusing thoughts and societal acceptance made many men at least slightly homophobic. Some guys freaked about every little thing, worrying something they might do would be perceived as gay, while other guys are totally comfortable with their sexuality and don't even seem to even care. I would never understand men; at least women were usually more open to the whole bisexual thing.

Honestly, I think everyone is really bisexual, most of us just never act on it or experiment with it. I had. I loved having sex with other women—soft curves and round breasts—but when it came right down to what I really preferred sexually, well, I loved nothing more than a big, hard, cock buried inside me. I had fantasized about two guys at once before but never even considered someday it might be a reality—not until I met Avery and Brom. The thought of sexually having them both at the same time almost had me heading to my bedroom to find a few toys.

Night Owl Reviews Book Lovers Magazine Needs a Couple Columnists

Tammie, over at Night Owl Reviews is seeking a couple authors who are interested in writing monthly columns for the Night Owl Reviews Book Lovers Magazine.

I write a monthly column for the magazine about paranormal and urban fantasy books.

Currently Tammie is in needs of columnists for Romance and Suspense categories.

She might be open to other genres not covered as well- so take a look at the magazine and pitch her a column. Be sure to include samples of your writing.

If interested in becoming a columnist for the magazine send an email to Tammie.