Sunday, April 13, 2014
Prequel to an Erotic Career
The last place I expected to find myself working when I was pregnant was an upscale sex shop.
I had lost my cushy office job due to calling in too many times thanks to morning sickness. And did you know that finding a job while you’re pregnant is almost impossible?
Jobs were scarce enough in the area that I lived but after telling employers that I was pregnant…well let’s just say that threw a big wrench into my available job choices. No one wanted to hire a pregnant chick. I wasn’t showing much when I was putting in applications but being the honest person that I am I disclosed my pregnancy to any place that called me in for an interview…and then never got a call back. Not until Priscilla’s called me.
Priscilla’s was an upscale adult store, similar to Lover’s Lane though they sold a lot more toys and porn and even offered movie rentals. It is on the main shopping strip in my city, so not in a bad neighborhood like some seedy “adult book stores”. No, Priscilla’s was all bright lights and welcoming atmosphere, a store designed for couples. I didn’t mind going to work there.
For the first couple weeks I know I must have turned red hundreds of times, especially when people I knew came into the store…like my son’s little league coaches, people I went to high school with, even my veterinarian. There are some things you just really don’t want to know about people you interact with regularly– like what kind of porn they like to watch and what kind of sex toys they’ll be using.
I think one of the most embarrassing things I had to deal with was the fact I had to put batteries in all the sex toys to check them out before they left the store because Michigan State law doesn’t allow returns on anything that touches the genitals. So I had to make sure the toys actually worked before customers left the building. At first this embarrassed me so bad I wanted to hide behind the counter and die, especially when one of the toys was really, really loud and believe me some were. The loud ones really tended to freak out some of the customers, too.
After about a month of working there I could do poker face quite well. I learned to school myself so I didn’t looked shocked or surprised no matter what the customers asked. I even learned everything I could about the products we sold so I could answer questions honestly and knowledgably.
Working at Priscilla’s turned into quite a fun job, the people I worked with were nice though I was in the store by myself most of the time and the customers were mainly just your normal every day people.
The largest percentage of the customers was couples or women looking to add something “special” to their sex lives. That was followed by local strippers and webcam girls who got nice discounts on lingerie and dancewear. They were fun to listen to and very interesting to help. A few times I had to usher them back into the dressing rooms because they would walk out into the store barely dressed asking if I could zip them or tie up their outfits. If anyone was in the store at that time they got a live show they weren’t expecting.
After that came the “regulars” who were guys that came in on a regular basis to rent or buy new movies or get the newest magazines that came in. You probably think these guys would be creepy slime balls but honestly only one ever really creeped me out, the rest were normal guys.
The only time I ever got really, really scared was when this young guy came into the store, at night, wearing a rainbow clown wig and sunglasses. My hand hovered inches away from the panic button the whole time he was in the store. He gave off such weird vibes I was sure he was going to rob the place the way he skulked around the store and waited until everyone else was gone before he approached the counter. Turns out he was just really embarrassed and didn’t want anyone to possibly recognize him buying porn and sex toys. After he left I let out the deepest breath I hadn’t even realized I had been holding, sat down and counted my blessings the clown hadn’t been a robber.
One other very memorable incident involved a really large rugged man who could have been anything from a truck driver to a construction worker based on his appearance. This guy was probably in his forties, very rough around the edges: mustache, flannel shirt, ragged jeans, big work boots and he was at least six foot six. The man was tall. He went over to our shoe section and asked if I could help him out. I expected him to be looking for something for his lady. When he asked me if we had a pair of shiny, black, high heeled platform boots in a size…thirteen I almost hit the floor. I know my jaw did. That came as such a shock my well schooled poker face didn’t have time to slide into place. After finding the right boots he proceeded to ask for stockings and lingerie- also in his size. And no, it wasn’t anywhere close to being Halloween.
The things I learned while working at that store from stories customers told me to the magazines, books and movies I had the chance to view all enriched my sex life and my knowledge of just about anything and everything sex related. The year I worked at Priscilla’s so much fun I’ve never forgotten it and still consider it to be one of the best jobs I ever had. It was also a very nice prequel to a career as an erotica author.