There is a boutique hiding out between the fractured, narrow storefronts lining New Gotham’s foggy docks. The shingles are ribbed and black. Washed, peeling paint and displays offering views into wicked leather and lace studded glam. The mannequins are ghoulish beauties stitched together from whatever was left from the last fool to cross one of the sinister witches.
Welcome to Sinister Stitches
“…apparel
for a wicked fairy tale.”
The witches were NOT expecting men. Their
expertise is usually limited to DEMANDING their husbands NOT wear that in public, and, of course, the
fashioning of fantastic clothing for all of literature’s heroines. (New
Gotham’s men usually get their goods from Rumpel’s Twisted Threads, BUT that’s
beyond the point, the girls put a quill to their interview, changed some bits,
and rose to the occasion.)
To enjoy the hilarity, please check out some
of the questionnaire Elaina Lee’s
Alek Trevian from Written in Blood (Crisdean Sisters)
was
threatened asked to fill out after he stormed into Sinister
Stitches.
THE
WITCHES WHO STITCH QUESTIONNAIRE
Please provide the witches with your
name: Alek Trevian
Please provide the witches with the
following:
Hair Color: Black
Hair Length: [ ] Short and
Sharp, [X] Shaggy and Sexy, [ ] Lush and Long
Eye Color: Sandy Gray
Skin Tone: [ ] Ghoulish, [ ] Snow White, [X]
Cina-baby, [ ] Mochalicious, [ ] Dark Chocolate, [ ] Other:__________
Please provide the witches with your
measurements and body-type.
a.) Height: 6 ft
b.) Body Type: [ ] Skeletal,
[ ] Lean and Tender, [X] Lean and Tough, [ ] Ripe and Edible
Do you have any extra extremities? Place an
“X” to all that apply.
[ ] Horns or [ ] Halo (My wife would say horns, but since she’s the only one who can see
them…)
[ ] 20 ft. of Hair or More
[ ] Gills and Fins or [ ] Hooves
[ ] Wings (Span: )
[ ] Tail (How many: )
How many heads do you have? (Your boy bit doesn’t count!)
Thankfully, just the one
Do you have arms and legs? If so, how many?
2 arms, 2 legs
How dead are you? [X] Living, [ ]
Undead, [ ] Astral Form
What are you? (Species/Breed)
Last I checked, Human.
What is the occasion? (Ideas include:
Wedding, Funeral, Sabbath, etc. Oh, and seduction is a valid occasion. The more
details, the better.)
Professional
What’s the occasion setting? (Beach,
haunted castle, grand ball, etc.)
Investigating, and hopefully looking damn
good while doing so.
Will you be fighting for your life at some
point in the evening?
It’s possible
Will you be set on fire? Better yet, will you
be setting other people on fire?
That would be a bad
night
Will you be grave-robbing? (Dirt is a
tailor’s tedium.)
No, and no again.
What are you wearing right now? Who picked
that outfit out? (Basically,
who let you leave the crypt in those?)
Charcoal gray suit,
red tie, white dress shirt.
Do you hope to be naked at some point in the
evening?
(All right, dirty birds. Such questions are actually intended toward the
weres and shifters in regards to their transformations.)
Does it matter? We
don’t usually wait until we’re naked…
Describe your last brush with Death in two
sentences. (Helps
us plan for the unexpected.)
The brushes with death are left for Lyndi (or
her sisters for that matter). I’m just the lucky one who gets to save the day.
Do you need a secret compartment for gigantic
swords? Guns and condoms? Eyeliner, maybe?
No, regular sizes
compartments will do just fine.
What are your three favorite colors?
Black, red, and
dark gray.
What two colors ninja your brain, sweetie?
If you’re asking
what I dislike, anything pastel (I carry
a gun and if you witches make me a lemon yellow suit I will not hesitate to use
it. Keep this in mind)
Please pick a style that you feel embodies
you the best. If none apply, feel free to surprise us by providing your own
brilliant description in the “other” slot.
[ ] Dark Angel: This is for the spoonfuls of
charming. The good-natured and naughty boys next door types. Thoughtful and
sensual. Loyal and intelligent. More often than not, his head is in the clouds,
but those dreams and that smile holds hope for all of us. Our philosophers.
[X] Beast King: This
is for the warlords and alphas. The type of men who walk into a room and their
presence hushes out the sun. They live in their bodies, but their minds are
searching for the next challenge. Hands for fighting and these boots for
ass-kickings. Our protectors.
[ ] Smooth Criminal: This
is for the bad boys. You know, the types---mother’s worse nightmares. The kind
of man that makes your skin itch every time he devours you with that hundred
yard stare. Chances are his senses of humor is as wicked as his tongue. To hold
him, isn’t to catch him. Our scheming rogues.
[ ] Black Knight: This
for the mysteries. The ones no one can quite make heads or tails out off. He’s
a mixture, a melting pot of strong, sinister, and sweet. He might be Dark Angel
one day, and a Smooth Criminal other days. Our brothers.
[ ] Other: _____________________
Who is your favorite comic/storybook villain?
This implies I have
time to read.
If you could be any comic/storybook book
hero, who would it be?
I don’t think Lyndi
could take any more personalities in her life; we’ll stick with my personality,
thank you.
Now, tell us who you love the most.
My wife, Lyndi of
course
Anything else you’d like to add…
Are we done? Can
you make my suit already?
After
many barrels of chocolate, a dash of magic, and furious sewing…
Sinister
Stitches’ Leather Queen
Brenda
Dweyer presents Alek’s
Completed
Threads
“Bulletproof”
Next
to a gleaming, gold antique resister, Brenda the She-Wolf is posted on the
counter in a snake-skin cat-suit and a pair of vicious fuck-me red pumps. Eyes
shielded behind a pair of Black Pearl Aviator shades, and waves of curls pulled
up and tight on top of her head in a slick and shiny ponytail. Shiny, wet and
skin-tight. To look at her hurts. To touch her hurts even more. When the
gentleman standing in the middle of her mother’s gothic boutique brushes his
eyes up and down Wonder Woman’s body, she answers with a sharp crescent of
teeth bowing in sultry smile:
You need to go ahead and take a minute to thank your lucky stars that I’m
a married woman, ‘cause otherwise I’d climb onto that ass like a tree. Yeah,
let’s go ahead and put that out there, so you’re aware just who the hell you’re
dealing with. And just to make the picture a little clearer—hi, I’m Brenda
Dweyer. I’m the reigning Leather Queen. This is my mother’s store, and I would
so rather be naked. Frankly, I don’t know what the hell you’re doing here.
You’re like the tenth fool today. Ya’ll need to go ahead and get your peckers
together and find a clue. Twisted Threads is THAT way.
Ah, ah—I don’t want to hear it. I don’t have the time, child. Let’s start
with your color requests; I ignored them for the most part because you look
like a guy who could use a little bit of a change. You seem like you’re set in
your ways, and that’s cool—just don’t bring that nonsense here. I can’t take
it. So, let’s take a look at what we did work up for you. We cut a navy blue
pinstriped Contemporary classic jacket for you. It will suit your wider frame and be very comfortable to wear. Very. And we’ve done away with the shoulder pads. You don’t need them. For fabric, we spun a cotton and silk blend. You’ll still have the luxury feel, but with the breathability and durability afforded by a sturdy fabric.
There are four pairs of buttons pleated into the jacket’s side. They are
nonfunctioning buttons, merely for decorative purpose, a practice that
originated in the military when buttons, or pips, worn at the front of the
uniform sleeve indicated rank.
That being said, Gillian, my sister, did take the time to iron a thin
layer of ghost film into the jacket. It’s bulletproof, inflammable. Likewise,
your Neverland blue double, collared shirt was ironed with Oblivion film. It’s
made from flaying a ghost’s skin—along with having all of those prior “armor”
elements. It’s quite stain resistant. Will hold up to blood and lipstick
marks—no problem. As per your mention of a gun, the interior of your jacket has
been outfitted with several Void pockets. Any weapons pocketed or holstered in
the utility straps will bend and fold with the fabric. That’s right, don’t ruin
my lines with your crap, fool.
Now, here, take your old clothes, and get the hell out of my store. I’m a
Kit-Kat away from raping you.
IMPORTANT
BULLETINS from THE PIXIES:
For more information about Elaina Lee and Alek’s adventures in Written
in Blood please check out her author website.
Care to
check out the last round of Sinister Stitches interviews? Check out Sophie Avett and Jennifer Blackstream’s
paranormal den, the Brimstone Pub. All SS interviews are retired there after
their tour until the release of the SS e-book.
Fancy a
tour of New Gotham? Check out New Gotham’s Survival Guide! It might save your
life!
For more
information about Sophie Avett’s New Gotham Fairy Tales, the Sinister Stitches
series, and recent releases, please check out her
website.
Image
Credit(s): captblack76
Image Editing Credit(s): Elaina,
For the Muse Design
Cry Wolf
A New Gotham Fairy Tale
Sophie Avett
Genre: Dark Fantasy Romance (MM/New Adult)
Publisher: Skeleton Key Publishing
Date of Publication: May 1, 2014
Number of pages: est. 22 pages
Word Count: est. 10, 000
Cover Artist: Elaina, For the Muse Design
Book Description:
There’s a wild animal on the loose in the black forests surrounding New Gotham...
Not that anyone cares.
Well, Peter doesn't care.
Peter Ume is more interested in finding a way to alleviate the skull-numbing boredom of a city wide shut down. So far his ideas for excitement hover between stealing an unwary idiot’s underwear (soul works, too), setting someone’s eyebrows on fire, or stabbing the next person he meets in the eye with a hot French fry.
It turns out, he’ll be able to save assault and theft for a rainy day. As luck would have it, this naughty kitsune is about to meet the big bad wolf.
And man, is the wolf in for a surprise...
Warning: This story can be read as a standalone, but you will want to smack Sophie for it. (Or so the ravens have said.) So, do keep in mind that there is a part two. (And it will be a freebie. Sophie’s Pixies will carrier pigeon everyone more information soon.)
About the Author:
Sophie Avett is kind of a nerd. Like not even one of the cute, hip ones everyone brags about nowadays. More like the socially awkward hippie who eats way too much bread and dreams about being a dragon from behind towers of mythology books. Um...yeah. Picture old, tattered paperbacks and comic books--mostly Batman and Wonder Woman--dwarfing a tiny desk, with just barely enough room for the troll who writes there and the 70 pound hell-hound that insists on laying it's wet nose on top of her bare foot.
Granted not the most exciting existence, but she tries to make up for it by writing romances populated with her own peculiar ilk of paranormal beasties. Trolls, wyverns, the obscure Nordic brownie--she likes to keep things interesting. And bloody. (And mostly naked--but, we'll keep that bit between us.)
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SophieAvett
Sinister Stitches Boutique Blog: http://sophieavettsinisterstitches.blogspot.com/
Newsletter Post-Its, the Blog: http://sophieavett.weebly.com/post-its-the-blog.html
2 comments:
Hi Fangtastic! Thank you so much for hosting me! Everything looks absolutely wonderful! :)
Thank you for hosting, Roxanne! Looks fabulous. :)
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