How To Get the Most Out of Your Wristpiece by Jubal Van Zandt
(an impromptu lesson on Revived Earth Tech as dictated to Jubal’s biographer, eden Hudson)
There’s no bit of tech across the Revived Earth as pervasive as the wristpiece. You’ve got one, you use it every day, for basically everythi—
Oh yeah, guy who always contradicts better-looking guys to make himself sound smart, you almost never use yours? Then how do you pay for stuff? How do you message your friends or coworkers? How do you reserve flights or check competing prices or hack into your friends’ or coworkers’ wristpieces to find out why they’re ignoring your messages? How do you download books, articles, and infograms?
Yeah, that’s what I thought. Shut up and let me talk.
The rest of you want to know how to get the most out of your wristpiece. I’m here to tell you how to do that in four easy steps.
Jubal Van Zandt and the Revenge of the Bloodslinger
A Jubal Van Zandt Novel
Genre: Urban Fantasy / Cyber Punk
Publisher: Shadow Alley Press Inc.
Date of Publication: October 14, 2016
Number of pages: Approx. 265
Word Count: 50,000
Cover Artist: Lou Harper
Narcissist, sociopath, and shameless backstabber Jubal Van Zandt is the best damn thief in the history of the Revived Earth...and he won't shut up about it.
But not everybody in the swampy, soggy, feudal future approves of Jubal's vocation. The Guild—the religious fanatics who helped rebuild civilization after the collapse—in particular are waiting for their opportunity to slip the noose around his neck.
Which is why when the renowned Guild knight Carina Xiao—a.k.a. the Bloodslinger—contacts Jubal about an off-the-books job that violates Guild Law, he's too intrigued to say no. He is the best damn thief in the history of the Revived Earth, after all.
Part bizarro ecopunk, part outworld thriller, part odd-couple roadtrip, Jubal Van Zandt and the Revenge of the Bloodslinger is a 150% futurepunk quest for blood and betrayal across the Revived Earth.
I clapped my hands together. “Let’s get started. How did you hear about me?”
“Guild files,” Carina said. “Their records on you are full of suspicions, first-person accounts, and rumors. No arrests, no charges, and no incriminating evidence that you didn’t purposely leave behind for someone to find. I investigated Laars Gonzalez’s allegations that—”
She broke off, pulling a well-worn knuckgun from inside her leather jacket and pointing it at the two big guys approaching our booth.
“Don’t take another step,” she said. “Drop your weapons.”
They stopped, but didn’t drop the rust-caked knife or the stunclub.
“Uh-oh,” I said. “Looks like somebody recognized me. I’ll sign one autograph apiece, guys, but then I’ve really got to get back to work.”
The bigger of the two, who looked like he dogfought for funsies on the weekends, growled, “The Guild has no jurisdiction here, knight. The man you’re associating with is a wanted fugitive in Argameri.”
“That’s true,” I told Carina. “Dead or alive. The bounty’s huge.”
She didn’t take her eyes off the bruisers as she asked me, “Why didn’t you say something when I suggested meeting here?”
“Aw, come on, look at these guys! They couldn’t take a cucumber from a slime whore. Besides, I wanted to see what you’d do. Shoot ’em and let’s get back to business.”
“What are you wanted for?” she asked.
“For being better than them. They’re jealous that I sold them out before they could think of a way to do it to me.”
The second guy, whose face was covered in fishhook tattoos, pointed his snapping and sparking stunclub at me. “Your betrayal cost hundreds of Argamerian lives!”
“Really?” I said. “Because I heard it was thousands.”
About the Author:
I am invincible. I am a mutant. I have 3 hearts and was born with no eyes. I had eyes implanted later. I didn't have hands, either, just stumps. When my eyes were implanted they asked if I would like hands as well and I said, "Yes, I'll take those," and pointed with my stump. But sometimes I'm a hellbender peeking out from under a rock. When it rains, I live in a music box.
But I'm also a tattoo-addict, coffee-junkie, drummer, and aspiring skateboarder. Jesus actually is my homeboy.