Sophie
Avett’s Sinister Stitches Dress Fitting Interview, guest-starring Joey W.
Hill’s Lady Lyssa from The Vampire Queen Series
My characters
are either naked or dressed to kill. Given they’re all monsters stalking the
city of New Gotham’s twisted, cracked, and cobbled streets, the criminal
wardrobe is part of the job description. Rockabilly princesses, corpse brides,
leather queens…my city is full of them. Where do they get their menacing
threads?
There is a
boutique hiding out between the fractured, narrow store-fronts lining the foggy
docks. The shingles are ribbed and black. Washed, peeling paint and displays
offer views into wicked leather and lace-studded glam. The mannequins are
ghoulish beauties stitched together from whatever was left of the last fool to
cross one of the sinister witches.
Push open its
shabby, frosted front door. Tiny white flakes of paint will pepper the wind
like spectral dust. The minute you set heel onto waxy polished oak floors and
step into the candelabra fire-light you know…
This is where
the magic happens.
Welcome
to Sinister Stitches
“…apparel
for a wicked fairy tale.”
A spicy
trinity of black magic sisters breathe star-dusted dreams to life with their
gothic apparel boutique. They are schooled in the old ways of “fabric-bending”
by the Needlewitches of old. With this knowledge, they’ve created an entire
line of clothing that all share the same basic design element: one size fits
all. Each garment will magically tailor itself to its wearer once worn. There
might be some “twirling” required, but a vampire’s steady hand should turn
every wardrobe change into a stolen moment.
Care to take
a peek at what Sinister Stitches has to offer?
Check out
some of the questionnaire Joey W. Hill’s Lady
Lyssa (Vampire Queen’s Servant) was asked to
fill out when she wandered into Sinister Stitches.
THE WITCHES WHO STITCH
QUESTIONNARE
Please
provide the witches with your name: Lady Elyssa
“Lyssa” Amaterasu Yamato Wentworth, Vampire Queen of
the Far East Clan
Please
provide the witches with the following:
Hair
Color: Black
Hair
Length: [ ] Short and Sassy, [ ] Medium and
Modern, [X] Lush and Long
Eye
Color: Jade Green
Skin
Tone: [ ] Ghoulish, [X] Snow White, [ ]
Cina-baby, [ ] Mochalicious, [ ] Dark Chocolate, [X] Other:
Please
provide the witches with your measurements and body type.
a.) Height: 5’2”
b.) Body Type: [ ] Skeletal, [X] Lean and
Tender, [ ] Lean and Tough, [ ] Ripe and Edible
Jacob, my
human servant, describes me as a petite Asian doll with a bite like a pit bull.
His sense of humor is one of the reasons I relish punishing him. And since he
never restrains his tongue or his thoughts (I have full access to both), I have
to conclude he enjoys the punishment.
Do
you have any extra extremities? Place an “X” to all that apply.
[ ] Horns or
[ ] Halo
[ ] 20 ft. of
Hair or More
[ ] Gills and
Fins or [ ] Hooves
[ ] Wings
(Span: )
[ ] Tail (How
many: )
How
many heads do you have?
Just the one.
No matter how many my staff claims I grow when I lose my temper.
Do
you have arms and legs? If so, how many?
The usual
humanoid amount, 2x2.
How
dead are you?
[X] Living, [ ] Undead, [ ] Astral Form
[X] Living, [ ] Undead, [ ] Astral Form
Quite living.
Despite what they say about vampires, we are quite alive.
What
are you? (Species/Breed)
Half-vampire,
half-Fae. As vampire queen, that side of my blood has always been more fully
embraced, though I have recently been exploring more of the Fae side, part of
the reason I’m visiting you.
What
is the occasion?
I’m attending
the Winter Solstice celebration in the Fae world. My sister, Queen Rhoswen of
the Unseelie, is hosting it. She is like snow herself, with white hair, fair
skin, and often dresses in diamonds and frost queen-type fashions. We’re a bit
competitive, so I want to both complement her and shine in my own right. The
Fae still believe themselves far superior to vampires and I want to prove them
wrong at all levels, including fashion. Oh, but since I do love my sister, I
would like a small token on the outfit to honor her. A diamond snowflake, a
frost pattern; I leave it to your creativity.
What’s
the occasion setting?
Will
you be running for your life at some point in the evening?
(Helps with shoe selection.)
I rarely run
from anything, but fighting for my life is always possible. Jacob never goes
anywhere unarmed as a result (even now, he might look like he’s half-asleep
over there, but I expect he hasn’t missed a single movement we’ve made).
However, I don’t want you to sacrifice your shoe artistry. Something I can kick
off quickly will work, unless you can come up with something that is sexy,
eye-catching, and yet serviceable in a fight.
Will
you be set on fire? Better yet, will you be setting other people on fire?
Not likely.
Rhoswen is far more fond of freezing people to death. Jacob says I’m more
likely to be set on fire at home, because I love heat and often sit far closer
to the fire in my dresses than makes him comfortable.
Will
you be grave-robbing? (Dirt is a dressmaker’s tedium.)
Absolutely
not. Though if we go riding, Goddess knows where we will end up.
Is
your neck a dinner plate?
Only when a
friend or my servant is weakened from blood loss and needs the energy boost.
Which, come to think of it, is always a possibility after a fight.
Do
you hope to be naked at some point in the evening?
Vampires are
highly carnal creatures. It’s not even lunch and I’ve already had Jacob twice
today (hmmm…perhaps he is actually dozing out there). I expect that to happen
at least once or twice more today, unless plans for our trip interfere with my
desires. I don’t often let anything interfere with my desires for Jacob. So the
answer to the question is yes. With the Fae, it’s not as likely to be in a
public setting, with others looking on, but it is possible.
Describe
your last brush with Death in two sentences. (Helps us plan for the unexpected.)
I was locked
in an enchanted desert and faced off with a variety of enemies, including a
flying serpent monster thing. The sunburn was the worst part of it all.
Do
you need a secret compartment for weapons, wands, tampons, etc.?
No. I have
Jacob to carry anything I need and I’m more of a hand-to-hand or magical
fighter.
What
are your three favorite colors?
Jade green
(my eye color), the midnight blue of Jacob’s eyes, and the pale pink of cherry
blossoms.
What
two colors rattle your kettle?
I’m not fond
of neon colors—bright yellows and oranges remind me a bit too much of sunlight.
Please
pick a style that you feel embodies you the best. If none apply, feel free to
surprise us by providing your own brilliant description in the “other” slot.
[ ] Rockabilly
Starlet: This is for the spoonfuls of sugar. The good-natured and naughty girl
next door types. Candy is the business and fairy tales are ultimate. More often
than not, her head is in the clouds and her nose in the book. Our
dreamers.
[ ] Leather
Queen: This is for the warrior princesses. The type of girls who give boys a
run for their money and wear tight jeans just watch the little vampires come
undone. Hands for fighting and these heels for ass-kickings. Our protectors.
[ ] Medieval Mistress: This is for the no-nonsense
girls. The ones who know better because they’re ten steps ahead. They’re
schemers—they might be shy, or they might not be. More importantly, they’re
selective. Our wisdom.
[XX] Gothic Dame: This for the mysteries. The ones no one can quite make heads or tails
out off. She’s a mixture, a melting pot of sugar and sinister. She might be
Rockabilly Starlet one day, or a Medieval Mistress other days. Our sisters.
[XX] Other: Medieval Mistress sounds correct, but
with some Gothic Dame in the mix. I did wear jeans and a kitten T-shirt that
says “Not everyone is a morning person” to a mall trip with Jacob once. He
enjoyed the look immensely, but I don’t think it will work for the Winter
Solstice.
Who
is your favorite fairy tale villain?
Ursula, the
sea witch in Little Mermaid. I found her cleverness and self-empowerment
refreshing.
If
you could be any fairy tale princess, who would it be?
Jacob coaxed
me to watch Tangled, and I admit I liked the potential of Rapunzel. In the end,
she understood being a princess means training to be a queen, and that requires
a level-head and the need for making sometimes rather heartbreaking decisions.
Plus, I admit Flynn Rider reminded me quite a bit of Jacob—his background and strength
of character.
Now,
tell us the twit you hate most.
He’s dead,
thanks to my human servant. I choose to forget his name.
Anything
else you’d like to add…
In essence, I
am pitting your skills against that of Fae seamstresses. I expect if you put
them to shame, I will be asked who crafted my outfit. You may want to give
Jacob some business cards (it wouldn’t be seemly for a queen to hand them out).
Of course, that means you might have the opportunity to visit the Fae world,
whether you like it or not. The Fae are very fuzzy on the idea of consent,
almost as bad as vampires, and they love dressing well. So keep that in mind
before you decide whether or not to take this job. Though I hope you will. You
ladies don’t seem the timid sort, which is one of the reasons I came to you. My
last seamstress practically soiled herself when I so much as bared my fangs in
her direction.
How the Witches-Who-Stitch
Answer a Challenge...
Astrid: Rapunzel, eh? Exactly what version is our
dear old Disney telling this time…? If I were you, I’d be wary of women with
that much hair. The upkeep is…murderous.
But
that’s a tale for another time, yes?
Greetings
and welcome to Sinister Stitches, my lady. My name is Astrid and I’m the
vampire running the catwalk around here. The she-wolf posted by the door in
hooker heels, a lace tunic, and nothing else is my sister, Brenda. The adorable
asshat sitting on your servant's lap is—goddamn it, Gill. *heavy sigh* Keep
your damn dress on. He isn't even awake.
*Doors
to the Sinister Stitches tea room bluster open and Bayou willow weaves and
Spanish jasmine waft from the doorway.*
Astrid: Ah yes, that would be my mother…
Madame
Mari: ‘Evening, all. Oh!? What do we have here? *snatches interview from Astrid, and reading
glasses from Gillian (who has yet to abandon a sleeping Jacob’s lap)*
Gilly-bean, stop feeding the hu—well, I guess it ain’t human anymore.
Handsome still, aren’t you? Irish, too. Gilly, give up the gumdrop and
wave a potato under his nose—that oughta get a rise out of him.
She
cackles and skims interview: Winter
Solstice and a…well, hotdam—a party! Wonderful. The Veil, huh? Very nice.
Haven’t been to visit in ages—Queen Rhos…*lowers
page and peeks at Lyssa.* Should’ve known. *rubs temples* Mrs. Potts is never going to let me hear the end of
this…
The
room absorbs the presence of true Court. Spectral viceroy
swallow tails stretch high, her skin is creamy green and as she makes her way
across the shining oak floors, there is no doubt that she is the mother of this
coven.
Tapered
wing shadows dwarf Gillian and she goes taut: What? What did I do?
Madame
Mari: You’re in my seat, darlin’.
Gillian: Oh! What is that? Is she a Queen?! How
pretty!
*Her
powder pink dress ruffles like cake as she practically bounces over to Lyssa because
that was Gillian in a nutshell. Candy first. Spankings later.*
Madame
Mari takes a regal seat on Jacob’s lap, soothes out her skirts spun from spider
cobwebs and tears, and returns to her reading:
Competition?? I left to get away from all the cock measuring—oh, it’s just us against them? I thought we were going to war…* chuckles happily and coquettishly lowers page * We’ll fix you a dress, dear. Your sister, too. No extra charge. Why? *Her slanted violet eyes flash with the heat of a thousand suns.*'Cause those fools have already lost. And I ain’t fixin’ to let any girl be outdone on her special day, shugah.
Competition?? I left to get away from all the cock measuring—oh, it’s just us against them? I thought we were going to war…* chuckles happily and coquettishly lowers page * We’ll fix you a dress, dear. Your sister, too. No extra charge. Why? *Her slanted violet eyes flash with the heat of a thousand suns.*'Cause those fools have already lost. And I ain’t fixin’ to let any girl be outdone on her special day, shugah.
Besides,
when it comes to sisters…Take it from a momma, darlin’. Can’t give something to
one, without giving something to the others.
Gillian: You’ll
have to get naked! Strip, strip, strip!
Brenda
whistles and swivels her finger like a helicopter: Take it all off…
Astrid: Real
class act, Brenda. No, really. And, Gillian! Take your lips off the Queen’s
butt chee—you know what, we don’t know that one. People think she’s our sister
because we keep feeding it.
*Astrid’s
fantastical sable mane slithers across the floor like a fat Asian snake as she
attends to the queen poised on a stool fashioned from shadows. The vampire
queen seems utterly intrigued with the miles of oil-black coils. She
catches the thirty-foot braid of silk and tugs gently in askance. All the
young vampire has to offer in response is a clandestine smile and…*
Astrid: She’s ready, Momma...
Ain’t you supposed to be
sleepin,’ son? Madame Mari swats Jacob’s thigh and the servant’s mouth
curves. That’s right, boy. Best keep them peepers closed till
we're finished or I’ve got a switch with your name on it. Everyone else, let’s
begin…”
After
many barrels of chocolate, a dash of magic, furious sewing and Jacob’s sound
spanking (He peeked!) …
Sinister
Stitches’ Gothic Dame
Madame
Mari presents Lyssa’s Completed Dress
“Petal
Fang”
That’s right,
missy. We’re doing things pink this year. Why? ‘Cause guess what color everyone
else is going to be wearing? Not pink. Blues, silvers, whites—blah! They’re out
of the question. I’ll have my girls upstaged by no one! *snaps rolled up interview against Jacob’s thigh.* And you best not
forget the business cards, boy…
Let’s talk about
your dress first, darlin’…
First of all,
it’s one of kind. It can’t be replaced. Should the boy rip it in a frenzied
moment of passion—that’s okay. Anything else (like war) and I’ll be dropping by
the big Georgia
mansion for tea and staying for spankings.
Petal Fang is
hand-stitched from Avalon cherry blossoms, Olympus
fog, and a wyvern’s soft underbelly. It’s practically indestructible and so
soft it feels like water cascading through your fingertips. The dress is alive.
Living and breathing. Once touched by moonlight, it will shed its sweet-pink
and adapt a serpentine patterned lace with webs of spectral crystals. Don’t
panic—that is the dresses true form and can be reversed by returning indoors.
It was
specifically designed that way to make wardrobe changes between “coffin hours”
and “hunting hours” quick and easy. And it was made especially for me by Esme
the Needlewitch many, many years ago. That’s right, girly. Don’t let these brittle
old wings fool you, I used to be hot (and dangerous*) back in the day. Which is precisely why I’ve outfitted this gown
for you. Anytime you find yourself standing in shard of moonlight, you’ll find
yourself in two different dresses, two different worlds, and they’ll both be drop
dead gorgeous.
She’ll keep
you warm during your travels and allow you to control her length with these two
commands: “Let down my skirt” or “Let up my skirt.”
The fishtail
train is…wily, so do be careful.
Mind, this
dress didn’t start out perfect. My fledging, Astrid, worked very hard on your diving
Elvira neckline. Remember that diamond pattern you asked for…?
She contacted
her good friend Elsa, from Bits and Pieces, and together they fashioned you
this diamond headpiece from stones ripped from the volcanic heart of Mt. Fuji .
Genius, isn’t
she? Now then, Astrid has promised your servant here she’d come visit you for
tea in your mansion, so be sure to thank her then.
When? When
what? When did he ask her to come? Or when is she coming?
Hell if I
know, shugah. I didn’t even see him move and the boy’s been under me this whole
time—got yourself a crafty one. Or I’m just THAT old. Hard to say. Can’t
remember. But I know Astrid, and she never breaks a promise. Gets that from her
momma, she does. So, as we discussed…
A Gift for Queen Rhoswen
“Petal Flake”
Now this
dress, Petal Flake, the girls made...
They need
practice if they plan on inheriting this sithen from me. Gillian was the lead designer
and for good reason—no one quite does fairy like my adorable Candy Witch does.
No one. Its beveling skirt is made out of fresh picked Neverland pristine-pink
blossom flowers. They’re not actually paper, but what becomes of hamadryad
tears. Velvet pink star-shaped petals will collect and instantly crystalize any
moisture that touches them.
That’s right,
to touch her skirt will feel like icicle nibbles—it WILL sting, but I assume
it’ll be worth it…? Hmm…?
Astrid was
called in to fashion the bodice. Tears from ice wraiths, wispmothers, and
banshees have been collected and sewn in an arboreal pattern with diamond
accents and she paid special attention to the weaving of the ribbons. Tug twice
on the bow and it’ll undo itself. Best keep that information from the men folk,
eh? No need to tempt the Fae with a dubious good time…
Brenda…well,
who on earth do you think made all those wild animals wail?
Better yet, who
do you suppose skinned their hides and made them dead and dress ready?
In any case,
here’s your gift box—we’ve tossed in some chocolate for the hostess and her
lovely sister. *gently pats Lyssa’s cheek
with knobby old hand* Have a good time, honeybunches. And you…Confound it,
Jacob! *swats handsome ass* Don’t eat
the chocolates with the pink ribbons on them, boy! Those are for the girls.
They’re…special. *reaches into sewing apron* Here, have a
Kit-Kat and stay still. Don’t smile at me like that either.
Astrid
sweeps into the room, carting a silver tea service, and sighs:
A pox on sexy Irish men—all of them.
IMPORTANT
BULLETINS from THE PIXIES:
Fancy
a tour of New Gotham ?
Check out New Gotham’s Survival Guide! It might save your life! (Link: http://sophieavett.weebly.com/new-gotham-bonus-content.html)
For
more information about Sophie Avett’s New Gotham
novels and Sinister Stitches series and recent release, ‘Twas the Darkest Night,
please check out her website: http://www.sophieavett.weebly.com.
For more information about Joey W. Hill’s Vampire Queen series, you can visit the series book page on her website at http://www.storywitch.com/series-vqs.
There’s a free chapter excerpt for every book. Jacob and Lyssa have three books
in the series, but their friends have standalone titles as well, so there’s
something for everyone.
*A
Note from Gillian Concerning Madame Mari: Used
to be dangerous? Ha! My candy ass. You know how New Gotham is built on the ruins
of an old city? Yeah, well, Momma burned the first one down. For fun.
Twas the Darkest Night
A New Gotham Novel
A Sinister Stiches Spin-off
Sophie Avett
Genre: Erotic Gothic Paranormal Romance
Publisher: Skeleton Key Publishing
Date of Publication: March 15, 2014
Number of pages: est. 355 pages
Word Count: est. 160, 000
Cover Artist: Elaina, For the Muse Designs
Book Description:
Remember the story about the troll who lived under the bridge—yes, well, that twit didn't have to pay rent.
Owner and operator of Bits and Pieces, and resident expert on charms and glamours, Elsa Karr is a witch with a sour frown and a list of things to do as long as Thor’s hammer. Top of the list is saving her father's shop from ruin. If she isn't trying to claw her way out of debt, she's arguing with her cat, Fenris, or shoveling carts of cake into her gob. She's not interested in romance or the vampire who rents the flat above her shop. All she wants is a little peace and chocolate--fine, all right! All right! The vampire is kind of screw all cute. (Curse him.)
The disgraced son and heir of the Wingates House vampire clan and a mad-man to boot, Marshall Ansley spends most of his time working and dodging his mother's phone calls. Marshall is beyond family. He's beyond everyone, actually. Don’t be daft, he especially doesn't do…Christmas. But behold, the plague brings an original flavor of annoyance this year when his boss tasks him with acquiring the account of a recluse fey and her upcoming Gothic clothing boutique, Sinister Stitches. That is the ONLY reason he's bothering with his shrewish landlord. No, that's it. No…really. Fine, if you insist, the witch might be a tad bit...all right, she's adorable. (Damn her.)
Scrooge meets Scrooge. Dominant meets Dominant. Tempers…spark. In each other, they may unfold a tale that only comes to pass on the darkest of nights.
Owner and operator of Bits and Pieces, and resident expert on charms and glamours, Elsa Karr is a witch with a sour frown and a list of things to do as long as Thor’s hammer. Top of the list is saving her father's shop from ruin. If she isn't trying to claw her way out of debt, she's arguing with her cat, Fenris, or shoveling carts of cake into her gob. She's not interested in romance or the vampire who rents the flat above her shop. All she wants is a little peace and chocolate--fine, all right! All right! The vampire is kind of screw all cute. (Curse him.)
The disgraced son and heir of the Wingates House vampire clan and a mad-man to boot, Marshall Ansley spends most of his time working and dodging his mother's phone calls. Marshall is beyond family. He's beyond everyone, actually. Don’t be daft, he especially doesn't do…Christmas. But behold, the plague brings an original flavor of annoyance this year when his boss tasks him with acquiring the account of a recluse fey and her upcoming Gothic clothing boutique, Sinister Stitches. That is the ONLY reason he's bothering with his shrewish landlord. No, that's it. No…really. Fine, if you insist, the witch might be a tad bit...all right, she's adorable. (Damn her.)
Scrooge meets Scrooge. Dominant meets Dominant. Tempers…spark. In each other, they may unfold a tale that only comes to pass on the darkest of nights.
About the Author:
Sophie Avett is kind of a nerd. Like not even one of the cute, hip ones everyone brags about nowadays. More like the socially awkward hippie who eats way too much bread and dreams about being a dragon from behind towers of mythology books. Um...yeah. Picture old, tattered paperbacks and comic books--mostly Batman and Wonder Woman--dwarfing a tiny desk, with just barely enough room for the troll who writes there and the 70 pound hell-hound that insists of laying it's wet nose on top of her bare foot.
Granted not the most exciting existence, but she tries to make up for it by writing romances populated with her own peculiar ilk of paranormal beasties. Trolls, wyverns, the obscure Nordic brownie--she likes to keep things interesting. And bloody. (And mostly naked--but, we'll keep that bit between us.)
Sophie Avett loves to hear from her readers. (Hi, mom.) So if there's something on your mind, feel free to leave a message after the scream.
(Mom, seriously…you can just call me.)
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SophieAvett
Post-Its, the Blog: http://sophieavett.weebly.com/post-its-the-blog.html
Brimstone Pub, the Blog: http://thebrimstonepub.com/
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March 17 Spotlight
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March 17 spotlight
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March 18 Character Interview
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March 18 Spotlight
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March 18 Guest blog
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March 19 Interview
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March 19 guest post
Books & Tales:
March 19 Spotlight and review
Penny For Them...
March 20 Spotlight
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March 20 Interview
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March 21 Guest blog
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March 21 Interview
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March 24 Guest blog (all week feature)
Kay Dee Royal
March 24 Interview
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March 25 Interview
All I Want and More
March 26 Guest blog
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March 26 Interview
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March 27 Spotlight
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March 27 Spotlight and review
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March 28 Guest blog
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March 31 review
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1 comments:
@ Roxanne! Thank you so much for hosting me! (Again!) My goodness, witch, you are wonderful! Lyssa's interview looks absolutely fantastic!
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