Thursday, January 17, 2013

VampCon by Armand Inezian

Five unacknowledged powers that rock fantasy stories!
Sure there are superpowers that we are all familiar with. Superman can fly, and he's super-strong. Batman is a martial arts master and has lots of amazing gadgets. Spider-man shoots webs and has spider sense, but - in my humble opinion- all those powers are just for show. Underneath the storyline are another set of other powers that actually make a real difference in fantasy stories! Here's a few!

1. Auditory stasis
In English please: I talk and you freeze
This amazing power causes villains, thugs and and their henchmen to stand perfectly still as heroes either ramble on about important plot points or make witty jokes.
Possessed by: Dr. Who, Spider-Man.
Just once we'd like to see: A smart-talking hero shot dead in the middle of a good one-liner.

2. Glitchless networking
In English please: It's like I'm living in a Mac commercial!
This power gives otherwise ordinary mortals the power to make their computing / hacking experience perfectly flawless. Networks are always up and running; batteries are always charged; and security passwords are always obvious. Not only that, but wireless signals runs at insane speeds and no one's system ever crashes. File incompatibility is never an issue.
Closely related to the supervillain flaw of creating easy-to-guess passwords!
Possessed by: Lucius Fox, Willow (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), the human race in the movie "Independence Day", just about every superhero's nerdy sidekick ever.
Just once we'd like to see: A major hero and his geek sidekick simply unable to hack into a computer system and having to resort to some other plan instead.
3- Schrodinger's bullets
In English please: You can't shoot me!
Physicist Erwin Schrodinger once posited that the behavior of subatomic particles can be changed simply by watching them. But what if a similar rule could be applied to bullets? For example, what if the very act of firing a bullet at a hero could cause the bullet to miss? How else could veteran snipers and automatic-weapon toting thugs constantly miss while shooting at heroes in books and movies?
Closely related to the power that makes machine guns miss their targets and instead spray the ground, creating a neat fan of exploding debris.
Possessed by: The Arrow, James Bond, Daredevil, the Punisher.
Just once we'd like to see: A hero who avoids rushing into action and just stays hunkered down because there's no way he can take on one henchman with a machine gun.

4- Hallucinogenic abdominal definition
In English please: Killer abs
When a hunky, lead character possesses a set of abdominal muscles so defined that they might distract or even render woozy straight females and gay men (and- hell- just about anyone) who comes in contact with them.
Possessed by: Just about every other vampire, angel, celtic warrior, lycanthrope and half-breed prince to grace a cover of a paranormal romance/ urban fantasy novel with his shirt off.
Just once we'd like to see: A jelly-bellied celtic-warrior-angel-viking-weretiger who just let himself go with too many Mars Bars!

5. Fast metabolizing self healing.
In English please: it's only a flesh wound!
You've seen it a million times on TV or in books. The hero gets socked in the face. He gets kicked in the ribs. He gets into a car crash and crawls out the window of the upside down vehicle. He gets shot in the shoulder. And then for maybe one chapter or scene, he's limping, and then- just like magic- he's fine and out having dinner with his girlfriend with hardly a bruise! How can this be? How can they not require hospital visits and years of physical therapy? Why don't they need an arm cast? It's all thanks to a magical and completely unacknowledged power of super-fast healing. Its like their body tissues knit itself back into shape, and they must have a backup store of extra stem-cells too.
Possessed by: John McClane (Die Hard), Harry Dresden, Nick Burkhardt (Grimm)
Just once we'd like to see: A tough guy detective take a bullet in the upper arm (AKA "get winged") and then actually go to the hospital in tears because it hurts so much.
~Armand Inezian is the author of VampCon, a dark fantasy thriller containing thousands of bullets, hundreds of vampires, two portals to damnation, and one bloody chance at redemption. Available now on Amazon, for Kindle, and for Nook.

Armand Inezian

Genre: Fantasy, Fantasy Thriller, or Dark Fantasy Thriller.

Publisher: Greyhart Press, Bromham UK.

ISBN: 978-1478279525

Number of pages: 310
Word Count: approximately 95,000

Cover Artist: Banchick Illustration.

Book Description:

Jonathan Stoker is a reluctant vampire who wants nothing to do with the dark world that turned him. He isolates himself, sucking nonlethal quantities of blood from helpless drunks and making a marginal living. However after he learns that someone he holds dear has been lured to the VampCon, a cut-throat vampire summit, Jonathan is forced to deal with his kind again.

But Jonathan and company quickly discover that the VampCon is much more than a meeting. It’s a conspiracy that holds the key to both the creation and possible extinction of all vampires.

Now Jonathan has no choice but to come to terms with his own dark side while working with a small band of troublemakers to stop a nightmare from coming true.

About the Author :

Armand Inezian resides in Boston with his wife, two children, and three cats. In addition to writing, he also works two day jobs, one in grants administration and the other in teaching English, and he is grateful for both. He graduated from Emerson College with an MFA in Creative Writing. His short stories have appeared in various literary journals including The Missouri Review and Glimmer Train. In 2003, his short story, Baer, was nominated for the Pushcart Prize. Another of his shorts, See Me, won the Glimmer Train Story Open in 2008. VampCon is his first completed novel.


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